8.29.09

Dear Rachel Dratch,

I don't know about you, but I am kind of a fashion nerd. I know obscure facts about designers, I read about a thousand magazines a month, and my new obsession is reading fashion blogs written by eighth graders. It's insane that these children are taking to the internet with their own fashion nerd-dom and getting some hardcore press about it. I am mostly talking about this child, Tavi.

She is insightful and interesting in ways that I know I wasn't when I was her age. It blows my mind. But it does all make me feel better about being obsessed with things that so many other people make fun of or simply hate. But I will tell you, like that scene involving cerulean blue in "The Devil Wears Prada," we are all affected by fashion.

The Gap has been struggling the past few years to find their voice in today's market. Are they going to be a place where you can find more affordable knock-offs of runway clothes, or are they going to return to their root of denim and chinos and tees. I still don't know if they know. But the current campaign featuring all their new fits of denim got me a little excited. I will say, The Gap was my first taste of fashion. I bought this crazy plaid old man jacket than I subsequently returned because I didn't think it was wholly appropriate to wear in seventh grade. And I was a little afraid of being beat up for wearing it. But nonetheless, I needed more and more.

I've always kind of supported The Gap because they do have great things. There was a while there where I wanted everything they had. This was probably ten years ago now. Somewhere along the way, they lost their footing and their taste. It all became cheaply made, yet still kind of cute. But cheaply made. And their prices did not match the quality they were trying to pawn off on us. Then Patrick Robinson came around, maybe two or three years ago, to take over and reimagine the entire brand. This is where all these new fits of jeans come in. He realized that The Gap is all about great basics, so he and his team went back to the drawing board. What resulted is six new fits and styles for women and seven for men. I, naturally, was most interested in the skinny. I would not categorize my style as anything hipster, but I do love some skinny jeans. Thus, I was excited about The Gap finally having a version that was called skinny and actually fit well. They have been trying to sell "skinny" jeans for a couple years now, but they more capably fit Dumbo. Clearly not skinny.

I had been to their webpage to read all about these new jeans. As the September magazines started to arrive, there were little foldouts in every issue, promising that they would have a fit and wash for every. single. person. Awesome. I wanted to know more about the skinny jean, but the website said it was only available in stores. So I went to the store.

After two or three walk-throughs of the sales floor, I could not find anything called skinny jeans. I asked the dude who seemed to work there. Which I should not have had to do. If you are rolling out an entire new denim line and it is being advertised EVERYWHERE, the least you could do is be excited about showing them to me. He was a little sleepy, so I let it slide. "Do you guys have the new skinny jeans?" "No, we don't carry those in stores." "But they just came out this week!? And the website said they would only be available in stores." "I know, I'm sorry. But we have something else you might want to try." "Oh that's cool."

Patrick Robinson. This goes out to you. I wanted to try these jeans, and I probably would have bought them if they were great, and I really wanted them to be. But they weren't there. What are you doing!!?? I was excited about this, I want you to do well. I love jeans. And the fact that I became a little obsessed with these means your marketing is doing its job. But they weren't there.

Maybe this should all just go to show me that sometimes stepping back a little and breathing, maybe not being so obsessed with clothes and such might help. But I really blame this on the marketing scheme. There were videos, and ads, and billboards, and signs. All of that did get me excited. I wanted to support The Gap, and The Man. I love corporations! But I can't do it if there is no product.

I know I addressed this to you, Rachel, but I wonder if some of the world's teenage fashion bloggers might have some insight. I mean, The Gap did it for me when I was their ages. Who knows. I'm going to go sit in my Levi's and stare at the wall.

Jon