It's the new year. Maybe it's more like, it's A new year. I feel like we think about new years the way we do about birthdays, that we are supposed to feel something different once the clock strikes whatever o'clock. Or that because that one year of life we just experienced has made us more wise or more something. Sometimes I feel like the old year was basically me just getting more cranky and finding gray hairs in my doo.
I guess it wasn't quite the new year last year when I decided to bleach my hair. I considered it for a while before actually breaking down and scheduling the appointment. Because I am a total fashion nerd I was inspired by these models who were also dying their hair bleach blonde. I figured I could and should look different and fresh. This was around December when I got it done, but it was probably October when I decided to do it. Someone asked if I was an actor and if I did this for a role. Babygirl, I am an actor and this role is called life!
After the first bleach job, I got it done two more times. I wanted my hair white white white. But my hair is regularly dark dark dark, which means I was going to spend a long time with my hair covered in the blue bleach. I was not prepared for this. I sort of knew what I was getting into because I had to schedule like a four hour block of my stylist's time, three or so for the dying and one for the cut. People got this done all the time, I told myself, I can totally handle this.
The bleach was no problem. Even though I think there may have been scabs on my scalp afterward, it never really hurt. I knew it was doing the trick because after the first round, my hair was a bright gold. There was one more bleaching to go before the toner. I survived the first bleach, so the second round was fine. But it was the toner that got me! That was no joke.
She told me it would tingle and probably feel a little funny. That's cool. I had used Pert Plus before, so I was clearly prepared for a tingly sensation. But this wasn't some kind of sensation, this was more like full on pain. Nobody ever talks about how painful this can be! I remember a season of Top Model where that girl Michelle, who also later suffered from that weird flesh disease, got her hair bleached and she damn near flipped her shit, all shivering and shaking. Because I could not really handle letting the toner do it's thing for too long, I never got to that level. I did have to sip on some red wine to help calm my nerves because all I could whisper was, "Julie, this kind of hurts."
I may have been a little over-dramatic because I also think my teeth chattered a little and I also remember whispering, "Is it supposed to feel like my hair is being slowly pulled from my head?" It hurt. But beauty is pain, and I wanted that top model beauty. I didn't quite get the color I really wanted that first time because it hurt too much. The second time was perfect and by the third I was a little over it and my wallet was hurting. I am no dancer for money, so my cash needs to pay my bills.
The blonde was a little intense and maybe not really my color, but it was fun. This past week I scheduled a last minute appointment because I was feeling ugly. I had one scheduled for next week, but the sides of my hair were getting too voluminous and making my head look all round. Not great. I went in with Henry Holland as my inspiration, but I think my cut looks more Jefferson Hack, circa 2010, but with shorter hair on top. I am making these esoteric references just so when you google them you'll realize just how insane my references are, but also know this is really what made me want this look! Chew on that!
Looking back I wonder if my new haircut has anything to do with the change in the year. I don't feel older, wiser or richer. I do feel like I really need to make a commitment to scheduling my appointments ahead of time so that I don't go into hair shock when I feel crazy and my self-esteem begins to dip because my hair is too long. Maybe that comes with age: knowing when you need to get your head taken care of and just how important it really is. This new look may be more influenced by a new fashion project I'm beginning to work on that will hopefully land me in the front rows and in the pages of magazines. I would even do magazines that are free, so if you need some volunteer styling, I got you!
*Side note: I just looked up how often I have written about my hair, and it's kind of embarrassing. Maybe I just realized how vain I am. I think I really only have one or two stories I like to tell over and over. Oops.
Jon
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