5.6.09

Dear Rachel Dratch,

I'm not trying to be a celebrity blogger, a la Perez Hilton or the many faceless names we encounter when we dig through our daily blog routines. But this story was too good to pass up.

First, I am obsessed with fashion--almost to the point that I scream out who made someone's outfit and the season it was first shown when I see it on TV. So naturally, come this pas Monday, I was in heaven as it was the Metropolitan Museum's Costume Institute's annual ball. This is bigger than the Oscars, in terms of fashion. It's a time when models whose names and faces we don't know mingle with the names and faces we recognize, but they all are looking ferocious. Oh, hello Mr. Lagerfeld! Ms. Wintour, it has been too long! 

Ok, Karl didn't show up this year. Many of the names you would expect to be a huge fashion shindig didn't come. No Naomi, Linda or Christy--despite the theme being dedicated to Models as Muses. Kate Moss was there, but that's because she had someone pay enough money that she could be named co-chair of the event. Naomi and Linda didn't show up because of a major gaffe involving Alaia (who you may remember as that designer who made Cher Horwitz's pink dress in Clueless). Anyway, I would have liked if they didn't come because Naomi threw a cellphone at or maybe spit on Linda. But that would have been too Super Model, I suppose. Many other BFDs didn't show up, due to other commitments, yada yada yada. 

I guess to make up for the lack of appearances by Karl, Naomi and the like, they had to stretch it and invite other people they thought would make for a good time. Enter Kiefer Sutherland. I guess we all forgot about his jail stint and his addiction to things, like the bottle. But he showed up. Before he arrived to the Ball, he was apparently seen twirling ladies in a bar while wearing a feather boa. I hope they didn't confuse him with Matthew McConaughey--doesn't that seem more like something up his alley? Wouldn't he also have made for a more beautiful guest list? 

Anyway, the Keef was pretty messed up. Fast-forward to the after party. Folks are having fun. Brooke Shields is there, wearing Calvin. Looking fly. She was standing near Jack McCollough, part 1 of 2 of Proenza Schouler--an awesome label that designs clothes for PYTs. The word is that Jack knocked Brooke over. I like to think he was dancing too hard and knocked her drink out of her hand with his elbow, as I have been known to do. 

The Keef saw this happen and made it his duty to make sure Jack made amends with Brooke. He did this by inciting a fight, and proceeded to head butt Jack. Brooke is denying this. Jack has filed a police report. 

This is why Jack Bauer is not allowed anywhere that is not a television set. Anna Wintour, you have been warned.

Jon