My darling, I have not forsaken you. I used to write you while I was at work, a job that involved sitting in front of a computer for eight hours a day. Typing anything would always make me look busy, and useful, to those who would walk by. I always looked like I had something to do so they couldn't make me one of the first casualties of The Economy. Then I got a new job where I stand all day and sell pants. All of this is to say I am not ignoring you, it just takes time to write something meaningful. Quality and quantity, which I know you understand because you left SNL when it was good and before they started hiring it out to anyone who wanted to be on it just so they could have something to show every Saturday night.
This past week I was walking back to my car after work. I have to park in their weird, under the bridge parking lot that is not near the building, but not too far. And I don't have to pay to park there, so it's good. There was this car parked in a non-spot, right in front of the entrance from the sidewalk. It wasn't a police car, but the man sitting in it looked like he had on a uniform of sorts, he had epaulets on his shoulders so I figured he was of the law. But his music was kind of loud and he was in a Mercedes, which now makes me think that maybe he was just someone whose style icon is Michael Jackson. But this begs the question, why sir were you sitting in your car, epaulet-ed up, alone, in a non-spot? Were you waiting for someone? Were you using a radar gun because you were actually a member of the police squad? This spot did not lend itself to a quick exit, so maybe you were going to call ahead to your buddy posted up somewhere else and let them know the crazies are speeding and to pull over those vans of crackmoms and babies. I don't know.
When I am in a parking lot, going to the store, the doctor, work, wherever, and I encounter someone just sitting in their car, it makes me very uncomfortable. We put people in jail when they leave their children alone in cars, so isn't it weird that it's somehow more acceptable for adults to be left alone in cars, too? I mean, it's hot, there's no fresh air, and for pete's sake, we don't know what you're doing. That may be the part that gets me the most--I don't know what you're doing or what you're about to do if you're just sitting there in the car.
I guess it's the not knowing part that makes me so uncomfortable. Parking lots are generally where the cars sit while you're doing something--shopping, eating, being awesome. Well, I guess other things can happen in parking lots. In high school, me and my friends found ourselves in parking lots quite often, not in our cars but standing around. We could never make up our minds about what to do or where to go because we had just spent our allowances and wages from the grocery store on a decadent meal at Sage Brush Steak House. We didn't want to watch a movie at somebody's house, so we would end up shooting the shit for a few hours in the K-Mart parking lot. This is not the same as being a lone individual, sitting in car, not knowing what their next move might be. For me, if you're by yourself sitting in a car in a parking lot trying to figure out if you want to go watch a movie or go to Sonic for a slush, maybe there are other, larger things going on in your life.
There's just something about those folks sitting in their cars that raises many questions for me. Are you alone? Is suicide on your brain? Did your homie/lover/friend go in to get some sugar cookies and Cherry Coke Zero? Are you just trying to get some rest from your crazy children? Do you have a gun and are going to shoot me the second you stop staring? Seriously, why are you just sitting in your car, you're at Target!? Maybe there are some things that don't have answers, that I'm not meant to understand.
I should go. I'm realizing I don't have much more to say and that you may be one of those people currently sitting in their cars. I hope Minsky's is going to work out. Fingers crossed.
Jon
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